Słynny
wiersz Pan Wiruseusz, który wprawdzie miał swoich zwolenników, opisujący
epokę Pandemlandii zaczął tracić na aktualności. Miał wprawdzie wśród
starszych ludzi swoich fanów, ale kompletnie nie działał na umysły
najmłodszego pokolenia Pandemlandczyków, zwanych pokoleniem Pi-Pi.
Rodzice
recytowali go przy różnych okazjach wspominania minionej epoki, ale
Pokolenie Pi-Pi, kompletnie nie było w stanie zrozumie jego przekazu.
O roku ów!, kto cię widział w naszym pięknym kraju,
Roku pełnym mutacji wirusów, bakterii mega urodzaju,
Lekarze rokiem złych zdarzeń zwać cię będą starzy,
O tobie będą bajać ci, którym powtórka się marzy!
Byłeś tylko małym wirusem, pomieszanym z brudem,
Przekazywanym sobie między schorowanym ludem.
Dziś ogarnęło ludzi wiosenne serca drgnienie,
Jakieś przeczucie, jakby przed świata końcem,
Oczekiwania bardzo silne, długie i radosne.
Gdy po dwóch latach aresztu dzieci wybiegły na wiosnę,
Zdawało się, że na maksa zgłodniałe są one ruchu,
Jednak nie biegały w energii szalonym wybuchu ,
Lecz dreptały w kółko jakby były związane w łańcuchu.
Kręciły się w kółko, żuły chemiczny, pokarm gumowy,
Ale żeby pobiegać nawet nie przyszło im do głowy.
Czy zawsze już tak będzie? Oto jest podstawowe pytanie.
Czy da się przywrócić rozum do głów ludzkich?
Czy powrotu rozumu do głowy realnym się stanie?
To najważniejsze dziś dla myślących ludzi pytanie.
Postpandemlaki
z trudem odrywały skrajnie błędny wzrok od najnowszych modeli
smartfonów, zwanych obecnie przez starszych obywateli kłamstwofonami i mamrotali:
Ale
o so-wam-chodzi? To była wasza młodość ale ona już minęła. Nie
zauważyliście tego???Teraz jest nasza epoka, a już chyba wiecie, że
w Nowym Wspaniałym Świecie liczy się Eutazjonolia oraz tylko młodzi.
Starzy ludzie psują klimat, niszczą środowisko naturalne, jeżdżą tymi
spalinowymi starymi samochodami, nie pozwalają montować ekologicznych
konstrukcji fotowoltaicznych na swoich domach. Mówiąc krótko: kradnie
nam z powietrza tlen, nasz tlen!
Eutanazjonologia,
największa naukowa nadzieja naszej epoki nie rozwija się niestety
dostatecznie szybko, aby obsłużyć wszystkich obywateli powyżej 75 roku,
życia, którzy - powiedzmy sobie tę prawdę - już się nażyli, naoddychali
i nakradli innym ludziom tlenu. Zaczyna brakować kapsuł eutanazyjnych
i w ostatnim przypadku humanitarnego zabiegu w Republice Groningenlandii
eksperci zmuszeni byli posłużyć poduszką aby pozbawić drogi oddechowe
pewnego starca dostępu do cennych i stale malejących na kuli ziemskiej.
-Cooo?.
Skąd to wiecie? - pytali przerażeni rodzice i dziadkowie
Postpamdemlaków. Mówiła nam naostatnim seminarium z eutanazjologii Frau
Franja najwybitniejsza ekspertka ds humanitarnego starców zabijania
z Instytutu Świata Ratowania.
- A kto taki? - zapytał drżącym z przerażenia głosem dziadek Władek, żyjący już 76 lat..
To jest
założycielka Centrum Dobrej Śmierci w Sarmalandii najwybitniejsza
ekspertka która wykłada eutanazjologię na konferencjach we współpracy z
wydziałem Uniwersytetu Ekspertów Medycznych (UEM) w stolicy naszego
kraju oraz z samorządem tej uczelni - odpowiedział jego wnuk z pokolenia
Pi-Pi, student tej prężnie rozwijającej się uczelni.
Oni
powinni nazywać się pokolenie Psi-Psi - pomyślał dziadek Władek. Nie
obrażając niemowlaków i noworodków psi-psijących w pieluszki.
DziadekWładek postanowił założyć Komitet Samoobrony przed Eutanazją
Właściciele
domów pogrzebowych są zręcznie wkomponowani w różne „zawody tanatologiczne”.
Domy pogrzebowe mają Agnieszka Beczek, Asia Olszewska, Iza Ździebko, Kinga Ziólkowska.
Dostęp do
szczegółowych danych finansowych IDS wymaga wykupienia płatnego (!) abonamentu
dostępu…. Więcej danych, a właściwie ograniczeń w dostępie do danych pod
linkiem https://www.wyszukiwarkakrs.pl/profile/0000981952
It was a cloudy November day and everyone was wandering around the lab in a miserable mood.It was supposed to be such a hit, but it turned out to be crap - thought more than one member of the research team.Since
there was nothing special to do, laboratory technician Rita Beorg
decided to do some housework, including going for vaccinations with her
child.She entered Professor Lenton's office to ask for a day off.– Professor, I have to vaccinate my son, can I take the day off next Friday?– she asked.– Yes, yes, of course, take the baby for vaccinations – agreed the professor.– We don't have anything special to do at the moment anyway.What will he have vaccinated?– he said to the girl heading towards the exit.– Combined vaccine, according to the vaccination calendar, without any delays – she replied.– Has he already been vaccinated with Muti Vir-Virr?I remember my younger sister wasn't feeling very well after the vaccination, Lenton said.– Muti Vir-Virr, what is that?I
haven't heard of it, I guess it's not on the mandatory vaccination
schedule now - Rita replied. - Well, I don't follow it either, I just
remembered that something happened to my younger sister after the
vaccination and that's how it stayed in my mind.Moreover, vaccination sets change from time to time.Go to your baby and be well.
Own vision of the creators of a new order in healthcare
After
the lab technician left, the professor asked himself: What happened to
Muti Vir-Virr that we don't hear about him now? Has it fallen out of
circulation or has it been improved and does not kill children after
vaccination? I think I must have been on a scholarship at Panestralia
back then because I have some gap in my memory about it. He entered the
phrase "Muti Vir-Virr" into the search engine. A huge number of links
popped up. Wow, what rich documentation and I know nothing about it! He
opened each page and with each click his eyes got bigger and bigger. And
that's history! The documents showed that a decline was observed just
three years after the introduction of the Muti Vir-Virrem vaccination
incidence of viral infections. Further years only confirmed the
excellent effectiveness of the vaccine against all viral diseases that
have plagued humanity for years. It was a reason for joy, but not for
everyone because the manufacturer of the Muti Vir-Virr vaccine patented
its invention for twenty years. This meant a lean time for all producers
of other vaccines for single viral diseases. This is unacceptable!
Efforts had to be made to return to the old vaccination schedule. After
a few symposia, some reports questioning the effectiveness of Muti
Vir-Virru, a few financial injections for very important people, and
after a few years of presence on the market, the matter was settled.
Muti Vir-Virr was hailed as a dangerous vaccine due to the content of
two heavy metals, and that's the end of the problem. The topic was
sidelined and Muti Vir-Virr was excluded from mandatory vaccinations.
'
This is how patients saw the creators of the new order in healthcare
Have
we checked the impact of vaccinations on TCER polymorphism at all? Wait
a minute, Lenton glanced over the columns of correlated factors. There
was not a single vaccination among the correlated factors, and certainly
Muti Vir-Virr! Well, that's a nice story! We have to start analyzing it
tomorrow, he said. The next day, Professor Lenton was in the laboratory
before seven. He turned on the computer and the coffee-making
equipment. The two devices in his office were almost coupled together.
He looked over the correlation calculations for the factors under study
once again. The analysis of vaccinations performed by patients in terms
of the impact of this intervention on TCER polymorphism was forgotten.
He asked the person responsible for the flow of data from the Ameerland
Medicine Study to include all information about vaccinations performed
among study participants. After two days, he had all the data he needed.
Now statisticians should deal with them. The calculations were
completed in less than a week and the results were sent to Lenton.
Regardless of the statistical method used for analysis, the results were
always the same. The grandparents' generation did not show any
polymorphisms and the use of medical services was low. There was a large
group in my parents' generation where TCER was almost the rule.
Frequent medical advice was also a rule. Then everything disappeared in
the next generation. He sent an email to Graham Bohner informing him
that they needed to discuss the matter together. Why did the parent
generation group from the Ameerland Medicine Study have such a common
TCER polymorphism? They met for lunch to discuss directions for further
exploration. They both felt they were close to discovering the cause of
the observed variability.
Caption: Our bodies, our lives, our choice
At
the other end of the corridor of the "Modne Diagnozy" editorial office,
the "Tygodnik Niepopularny" apartments were located. The editor of Ivan
X. was on duty - a name unknown to any self-respecting editorial
office. She looked at the monitor, and clicked on e-mail - nothing
happened. Around noon she felt something move. No, not in the computer,
but inside the body of editors, or as some people used to say, editors.
It twitched a second and third time, with no intention of stopping. From
the throat, it passed through the chest decorated with withered breasts
and settled in the stomach. “Ear-ear-ear, I'm sitting in a certain
belly,” SOMETHING said and crouched in an unidentified nook of the
insides. When the red actress was wondering what could be moving through
her body, the phone rang unexpectedly. The crouched SOMETHING seemed to
have accelerated and began to travel through the body at a faster pace.
She didn't even have time to answer the ringing phone. What could it
be? – the editor-in-chief was concerned. Repeated searches for various
associations and descriptions of the ailments experienced did not bring
any answers. The distinguished editorial chaplain, who was passing
through the corridor, greeted the editor and politely asked: – What good
things do you hear from the dear editor? – Ahhhh, Reverend… I have
a problem, SOMETHING is moving inside me and I don't know what it could
be. I've looked everywhere and nothing suits me. I googled all the
organs and nothing. – And did you search for "wandering uterus"? – No…
Reverend, do you think it could be the uterus??? – the red-actress
asked, beyond frightened. “Medicine knows such cases,” the reverend said
mysteriously. The red-actress typed the password suggested by the
reverend with a trembling hand and they both immersed themselves in
reading...
What
to do? What to do? There was a recurring question in both of their
minds. After a short discussion, they decided that it was impossible to
stop the wandering of the uterus without going to the hospital.
Regardless of the late hour, they rushed in the Reverend's limousine to
the nearest hospital emergency room, where they arrived out of breath
just before midnight. In the first attempt, they bounced off a tightly
closed door. So they energetically started ringing all the bells and
hitting the armored glass with their fists, separating the healthcare
providers from their benefactors and sponsors of their studies. – Open,
open… – they shouted at the top of their lungs. - Help! Help! After
a long while, an Empathetic Paramedic appeared and opened the door to
the editorial team eager for medical help. – Let's go to the horse rider
on duty! – they shouted simultaneously. “Please sit down and search
your pockets for your latest insurance document,” the Empathetic Orderly
ordered phlegmatically. - What??? Insurance??? We need help here, not
showing what we have and what we don't have in our pockets! Please get
us in touch with a doctor quickly! – First of all, we will direct you to
the appropriate group… what's wrong with you… what? – said the
Empathetic Paramedic. “A wandering uterus, according to the Reverend,”
the red actress blurted out – Zara, Zara… – muttered the Empathetic
Paramedic, leafing through the latest guidelines of the National Brother
Payer. – What do we have here?… There is… a ruptured uterus – we then
give a red sash to the patient; an abandoned uterus – decorated with
a yellow sash; all other uteruses not classified above – receive a green
sash.
By
the instructions, he girded the red actress's chest with a green sash
and walked away with a step reminiscent of the famous parade step on the
marshy ground during military studies classes. Meanwhile, Ivana
Unexpectedly, it turned out that after everyone had been taken care of
and decorated with red and yellow sashes, the quota allocated for cases
of uterine diseases that day ran out. The on-duty team, by the
guidelines, prepared documentation for the National Brother Payer. Units
wearing green sashes had no chance of helping today. The Reverend shook
his head at the futility of fate and worldly organizational solutions.
Being a resourceful man, he suggested visiting a famous uterine healer
or using the Formula 1 service center. They called the service center,
but unfortunately, the price of the service was beyond the payment
capacity of the red-actor Ivana X. The only hope left was that menopause
would free Ivana from uterine suffering. The Ministry of All Patients
has doubled and tripled in various activities for the benefit of
Sarmaland patients, but no one has yet been born who would please
everyone. It may not have been born, but we have to try, noted the
Minister of All Patients and ordered the search for a new image for the
ministry. Since Mrs. Wyborowa's image was sidelined, he has been
personally creating his media image. After a very heated meeting with
trusted advisors, it was decided to rename the Ministry of All Patients
to the Ministry of Only Good Decisions. A decision made in the right
ministry, in the right aura, has a completely different significance
than some accidental and ill-considered proposal by Mrs. Wyborowa
Wizerunkowa. The first legislative initiative of the newly established
ministry was the Act on Not Expressing Hasty Opinions, which was
intended to constitute an integral part of the medical bill package.
Doctors, especially the old ones, tended to give opinions on everything,
review it, and consider it from different angles. The worst thing was
that they called a council every time and discussed it even 24 hours
a day! Such a disorderly exchange of free thoughts could not lead to
anything good. Not expressing hasty opinions did not solve all the
problems regarding treatment. Patients obtained drugs in various ways -
they forced doctors to prescribe more and more expensive prescriptions
by request, deception, and threats.
Everything
has to be controlled, checked, and supervised. You can't let anything
go, and under no circumstances should you let doctors decide on their
own. The Minister of Only Good Decisions was losing his mind, wondering
what else could be done to put an end to this electoral laxity. During
a routine Thursday staff meeting, he asked Mrs. Wyborowa Wizerunkowa
a last-chance question: – Do you have any new idea that could put an end
to this laxity in reimbursement among horse riders? – Eeeee… uh… this…
aaaa maybe… by… yes – Mrs. Wyborowa Image replied in full sentence. –
Well, you're of no use! I'm firing you irrevocably and this time for
real, not for PR! Goodbye forever! Please return your mobile phone to
the office and take the tram back home! You are no longer entitled to
a company car!!! – shouted Minister Bartolomeo Karriera-Nieuwierra,
known in Poland and abroad for only good decisions. He sipped from a can
of a drink that cleared his mind and warded off the specter of
hypoglycemia that always haunted him when he fired someone from work,
then delved into the pile of pleading papers that various associations
had thrown at him. Or maybe we could delve deeper into these
reimbursement structures and look for some criminal connection with this
Bad Pharma... there must be... some connection... if they produce these
drugs, they get something out of it... they must have... well, it can't
be that they had nothing... Hours passed, more cans of lightening drink
landed in the waste bin under the ministerial desk, and the ministerial
mind was still immersed in darkness and decision-making powerlessness.
Due to the lack of evidence for a controlled crime, the minister decided
to look for other ways to deal with the problems. After much
consideration, he decided that the classic solution would be the safest.
After all, it worked so many times, it should work this time too! – he
said to himself, to console himself. I'll blame it all on those greedy
croakers. I will say that their salaries eat up the medical budget and
at least someone will be responsible for the financial shortfall.
Exhausted by the loss of energy, he managed to allocate what was left of
it to write an application for a special bonus for himself for his
services to the health of the nation.
The
researchers involved in the implementation of the BAT Study program
worked tirelessly. They analyzed the data, looked for correlations, and
looked for causal relationships. Proteins in which the tyrosine in the
side chain has a hydroxyl group in an unusual position are called
psycho-proteins.
So,
did increasing the supply of phenylalanine in the diet provide a chance
to change health behaviors? This was the basic question arising from
the initial research. However, further analysis of the samples
unfortunately did not confirm this preliminary hypothesis that changing
the position of the hydroxyl group affects human behavior.
Psychoproteins
turned out to be a clue that could not be fully confirmed. However,
there was a belief among researchers that the issue was related to the
structure of proteins. Months of searching passed, and there was no
indication that any connections would be found quickly. The next
morning, when the discussion was still going on after Matilda's
appearance on TV "Rewelacja" on the forum www.penicillium3x80000j=2.4
million, editor Jan Grzegorz Maczugin appeared on the screen of the
competing television station To-Nie-Ten (TNT). The editor's programmatic
task in the great strategic plan of the fight for the souls of
Sarmaland patients was to refute the facts. When someone said, for
example, You can't cross the red light, editor Maczugin replied
stoically: How can you not? How can this not be possible?
To Nie Ten (TNT) Television
He
had mastered the challenge of all knowledge to perfection. He had
a stable amount of knowledge, which he acquired during his philosophical
studies. As a graduate, he knew well that after completing such
studies, it was enough to philosophize, because why keep learning so
much? When editor Maczugin read a work forty years ago, he had read it.
He
couldn't understand why these horsewomen kept saying it was so
difficult to read the Commercial Data Sheets of Pills, Rectal
Suppositories, and Injections. If they read it once, they would have
read it. And they did nothing but complain that they had to read and
read all the time. And the editor doesn't have to, he just needs to
philosophize and immediately feel better. The editor's well-being wasn't
always good, but it was all because of the inscriptions and the
doctors. For example, the information that smoking causes cancer and
other serious diseases was extremely irritating to editor Maczugin, who
is an active sponsor of the tobacco industry, whenever he reached for
a pack of cigarettes.
During
one of the editorial meetings at the station, To-Nie-Ten proposed that
the tobacco industry, as part of its customer-facing attitude, should
develop a new version of the inscriptions: "Doctors cause dangerous
diseases!" Everyone liked the concept of editor Maczugin.
Freedom was longed for by people and animals
Most
importantly, the new concept provided high-paying tobacco industry
advertising for the To-Nie-Ten station. This inscription freed many
smokers from the dilemma of who was responsible for their diseases. Dr.
Odrana-Zatroskana, who smokes cigarettes with pleasure, was also an
admirer of the new concept. When, after some time of broadcasting the
ads, someone in the studio unwisely suggested that smoking causes
cancer, the editor immediately said: How does it cause it? How does it
cause this? Does anyone feel they are causing this? There was no force
for such a dictum. During commercial breaks, TNT broadcasts a spot:
"When
reaching for a cigarette, remember that it is doctors who cause all
your diseases. And most importantly, don't forget that you enter the
horse woman's office at your own risk! The viewership of To-Nie-Ten
(TVT) increased fantastically, the budget stabilized, and all this
happened thanks to the ideas of editor Maczugin. For such merits, he was
promoted to the director's position and removed from the daily vision,
although he was given the right to handle special events. He also
obtained an exclusive license to support events with the participation
of Dr. Odrana-Zatroskana. In the next stage of work, BAT Study
researchers focused on the Hyper Variable Region of the genome.
Everything indicated that this fragment of the secret written in
proteins held the key to solving the mystery. The focus was primarily on
the CAAX motif, ending a highly variable region of the protein. The
subjects were once again divided into groups according to the criterion
of the last amino acid from the CAAX motif. It turned out that when the
terminating amino acid was leucine, the use of medical services reached
the level of 4-5 times a year. However, when CAAX was terminated with
phenylalanine, there were 12 services a year. This variant facilitated
the permanent attachment of psycho-proteins and phospholipids to the
endoplasmic reticulum membranes. It wasn't easy for people and animals
in the New Wonderful World.
Therefore,
it was hypothesized that the permanent connection of phenylalanine from
the CAAX motif with the endoplasmic reticulum leads to persistent
health behaviors. Samples of all medical office goers were reviewed.
Several more statistical tests were performed to examine the
relationships between individual parameters. It fits like a glove.
Everything indicated that bound phenylalanine does not participate in
the body's biochemical processes and, as a result, the level of the free
form decreases. It was assumed that the brain of such an unfortunate
person with reduced phenylalanine levels was prone to depression. The
pain threshold is also lowered. In short, the brain causes people to
look at the world through black glasses. And if so, only a doctor could
help! And the frequency of visits, costs, demands, expectations, social
dissatisfaction, bad election results, and the bottom line were all
increasing. The functioning of all endocrine glands weakened, hormone
levels decreased, and diseases multiplied almost by budding.
However, the most important question remained unanswered: what factors
cause the phenylalanine from the CAAX motif to connect with the
endoplasmic reticulum? All known and theoretically influencing factors
that could potentially generate such a connection were checked, but
nothing matched, at least of the factors that were tested. The case
unexpectedly came to a standstill.
While
BAT Study scientists focused on the details of the structure of
individual amino acids, the public authorities in Sarmaland tended to
focus on larger works and more momentous events. The unveiling of new
monuments and the opening of new centers related to medicine were the
activities most eagerly attended by Minister Bartolomeo
Karierra-Nieuwierra. The important role played by Sarmaland's national
consultants, advising in various fields and, above all, in implementing
the idea of reimbursement, required solemn celebration. The minister
decided to fund a monument in honor of the national consultants and
issued an appropriate order to the artists.
After
a few months, the monument was ready. The work was called the Monument
to the Four Sleeping Consultants of Sarmaland. All officials and models,
i.e. national consultants, attended the unveiling ceremony as guests of
honor. During the ceremony, they took heroic knee-elbow positions near
the ministerial box so that the authorities had them at hand. By gently
tugging his mane, the authorities could say "Good consultant, good".
The
unveiling ceremony of the monument is scheduled for noon. The clocks on
the Madman's Tower struck twelve. The Minister of All Patients of
Sarmaland approached the podium, gracefully took out an "i-To-Lubię"
tablet from his pocket, and began to speak in Latin to the gathered
guests:
There
was no end to the applause, especially since the opening of the
Institute for Measuring Doctors' Working Time was to take place soon,
followed by the filling of director positions and the assignment of
minor managerial functions. It's worth waving your mane ingratiatingly
at the minister because there's a real point. The annual budget of the
Institute for the Measurement of Physicians' Working Time amounted to
two billion Sarmalandic reals, which was saved thanks to the
introduction of new solutions on the prescription market. And since the
consultants always needed money, there was no end to the waving of their
manes. A rumor spread among consultants that the Institute of
Physicians' Working Time Measurement would be tasked with developing the
foundations for the development of a new discipline of managerial
sciences - AMOK, i.e. alternative medicine based on control. The times
when a doctor thought, sought advice from other colleagues and used his
professional experience are gone. What are these methods that cannot be
measured and controlled? – said supporters of the new discipline.
Everything must be measurable and controllable, they added. Medicine as
an art? – the future presidents of the institute snorted like cab
drivers. We checked these artists and showed them their shortcomings.
Consultants rushed to the rescue and a scientific basis was developed to
silence those who doubted and all too often invoked personal
experience. AMOK was given the highest rank among various methods and
marked with an evidence class of IA, which meant that the strongest
evidence was always in the hands of the controller. There was a revival
in the labor market, and hope for a well-paid job blossomed in the
hearts of all masters of cultural studies, art history, and musicology
who dreamed of medicine in their youth, but lacked the courage and
talents to realize their youthful dreams.
The
main research task facing the scientists involved in the program
labeled the acronym BAT Study, or The Best Available Treatment, was to
determine whether there were links between proprotein, receptor
structure, genes, and the social health behavior of people. health
behavior of people. It was not about of course, it was not about some
simple correlation, but about precisely determining which of the
thousands of proteins coursing through a person's body carries the code
for a predilection for overuse of medical services.
The
first stage of the study involved reviewing all biological specimens,
carefully collected for 50 years in the Ameerland laboratories Medicine
Study, and comparing them with the list of reporting appointments to
doctors. A threshold for increased use of medical advice was taken as
reporting more than three visits per year. Rapid non-reporters and
infrequent visitors were quickly weeded out, as they were not a research
target.
One
thousand five hundred residents shying away from medical services were
excluded from the five thousand baseline sample residents who shunned
medical services were excluded from the five thousand baseline samples.
The entire focus was on the 3,500 frequenters of medical practices. All
possible systems, proteins, sequences, bonds, and chemical rings were
analyzed.
The
time went by and at a certain point, everyone was in the office. Time
passed and at some point, it seemed to everyone that nothing interesting
could be found or established. Then, by chance came to the rescue. It
was decided to take one last look at the one last look at the
spectrophotometry data.
In
a further review of the results, it was found that in many cases an
additional, hitherto undescribed band. The structure of this band was
very intriguing and it was suspected that the track led to changes in
one of the amino acids, specifically tyrosine. The findings looked
interesting, but it was necessary to thoroughly analyze the samples
using a more detailed program of protein structure imaging. Multiple
sequences were viewed in successive patients in 3D presentations. The
researchers' attention was drawn to the paler fragments in areas where
tyrosine was incorporated.
This
phenomenon occurred in patients who frequently visited their doctors.
It was agreed that the next stage of the work would involve deciphering
the lifestyle of tyrosine holders with pale blue fragments. Many facts
had to be established - what they did, what they ate, how they spent
their leisure time leisure time. The research dragged on.
Meanwhile,
in the flats of the monthly" Modne Diagnozy", a relaxation of the
summer holidays was followed by a period of intensive editorial work.
The Managing Editor was working hard to improve Matilda's texts, adding
commas, hyphens, semi-colons, and a lot more. to them by adding commas,
hyphens, semicolons, and other little things.
Without
them, the texts would be tasteless, like any dish without salt or
pepper. like any dish without salt or pepper. These seem like little
things, but how much they contribute! If the editorial team would like
to introduce property separation, the ownership of the Managing Editor
would look like this:;.......,//////-----(((((())))), and Matilda's
would only be the words that are between these stamps!
"How
time flies, it's almost galloping," thought Matilda and turned on
Sarmaland's famous TV station. While waiting for the final shape of her
texts, which were being edited by the Managing Editor she temporarily
had no urgent activities in the editorial office. The announcer
announced the broadcast of another important event in health care.
Clocks throughout Sarmaland punctually struck noon, followed by the
sound of a bugle call from the Wariacka Tower. After the last sounds of
the bugle call, on the screens of the TV screens, Minister Bartolomeo
Karierra-Nieuwierra appeared dressed in paramilitary garb and began to
speak.
Compatriots!
Prescribers of Refunded and Non-Refunded Pills!
I
am forced to announce that there can be no going back on the Commercial
Characteristics of Pills, Suppositories, and Suppositories! of the
Handling Guide for Tablets, Suppositories, and Injections as the armed
arm of the system's tidying-up, sealing holes, and a symbol of medical
progress.
We
will never allow you to rely on knowledge and personal testimony! For
what does an individual mean in the face of the power of the system and
the eminence of the High Authority for the Undoing of Medical Progress?
In
the same way, there can be no return to the impunity of scribbling on
prescriptions, created by the insidious idea of a of a once-famous
column. What was it called? Scribbled Prescription or something similar.
We deciphered it in collaboration with a coadvisory committee, headed
by the President of All Presidents, the true face of this column. Well,
it called for doctors to write prescriptions inexplicably by showing how
to do it effectively. At the request of the President of All Presidents
and his committee advisory committee on editorial matters, the column
was scrapped and removed from the pages of the press.
Deleted?
temporarily, unfortunately. The rubric has grown back, the hydra! And
in what form? What am I saying, it has grown back. It has grown to the
size of the entire newspaper, unfortunately. Perhaps it was better not
to make a rash decision, so as not to regret it bitterly later," he
muttered under his breath. Perhaps it was better not to be hasty, so as
not to regret it bitterly later," the speaker muttered under his breath.
The
main research task faced by the scientists involved in the program
titled BAT Study, or The Best Available Treatment, was to determine
whether there were links between the protein profile, receptor
structure, genes, and social health behavior of people. The aim, of
course, was not some simple correlation, but to determine precisely
which of the thousands of proteins coursing through a person's body
carries the code that determines a penchant for excessive use of medical
services.
Armies of dedicated fighters will fight hand-in-glove for the New Wonderful World
In
the first stage of the study, all biological samples, carefully
collected for 50 years in the Ameerland Medicine Study laboratories,
were reviewed and compared with the list of reports of visits to
doctors. Reporting more than three visits per year was taken as the
threshold for increased use of medical advice. Non-reporters and
infrequent visitors were quickly weeded out, as they were not a research
target.
One
thousand five hundred residents shying away from medical services were
excluded from the five thousand baseline samples, and all attention was
focused on the 3,500 regulars at the doctor's surgery. All possible
systems, proteins, sequences, bonds, and chemical rings were analyzed.
Time passed and at one point it seemed to everyone that nothing
interesting could be found or determined. The chance came to the rescue.
It was decided to take one last look at the spectrophotometry data. On
a further review of the results, it was found that in many cases an
additional, hitherto undescribed band could be seen. The structure of
this band was very intriguing and it was suspected that the clue led to
changes in one of the amino acids, specifically tyrosine. The findings
looked interesting, but it was necessary to thoroughly analyze the
samples using a more detailed protein structure imaging program.
Multiple
sequences in successive patients were viewed in 3D presentations. The
researchers' attention was drawn to the paler fragments where tyrosine
was incorporated. This phenomenon occurred in patients who frequently
visited their doctors. It was agreed that the next phase of work would
be to decipher the lifestyle of tyrosine holders with pale blue
fragments. Many facts had to be established - what they did, what they
ate, how they spent their leisure time. The research dragged on.
Meanwhile,
in the flats of the monthly magazine "Modne Diagnozy", the holiday
relaxation was followed by a period of intensive editorial work. The
Managing Editor worked hard to improve Matilda's texts, adding commas,
hyphens, semi-colons, and other fine details. Without them, the texts
would be tasteless, like any dish without salt or pepper. They seem like
little things, but they add so much! If the editorial team wanted to
introduce property separation, the Managing Editor's property would look
like this: ;.......,//////-----(((((())))),
Sarmalanders await entry to the Institute for the Verification of Medical Diagnoses
and
Matilda's would be only the words that are between these stamps! The
commas in the texts increased by the minute until noon arrived. 'How
time flies, it even gallops,' thought Matilda, and turned on Sarmaland's
famous To-Nie-Ten TV station. As she waited for her texts to be
finalized, suffering the process of fine-tuning by the Managing Editor,
she temporarily had no pressing editorial work to do. The announcer
announced the broadcast of another important event in health care.
Mental maps of the inhabitants of the New Wonderful World were created
The
clocks throughout Sarmalandia punctually struck noon, followed by the
sounding of the bugle call from the Mariacka Tower. After the last
sounds of the bugle, Minister Bartolomeo Karierra-Nieuwierra, dressed in
paramilitary garb, appeared on the television screens and began to
speak.
Dear Prescribers of Tablets, Rectal Suppositories, and Subcutaneous, Intramuscular, and Intravenous Injections!
The
fight continues on all fronts and all routes of administration. The
steps taken by the ministry serve to preserve the basic rights of the
Sarmalandia patient. The foreign patient must take care of himself
because he does not vote for us in the general election. We get nothing
out of him. Costs only.
All momentous reforms will continue under conditions of order, factual
discussion, and financial discipline. This also applies to the reform in
the prescription of tablets, rectal suppositories, and injections. I do
not want to make promises. We have a difficult period ahead of us. For
tomorrow to be better, today it is necessary to recognize hard
realities, to understand the need for sacrifices. One thing I would like
to achieve is peace. This is the basic condition from which a better
future should start. We are a sovereign ministry. So we must emerge from
this crisis with our strength. With our own hands, we must push back
the threat... At this difficult moment, I turn to ournbest allies and
true friends:
Dear Friends,
Stay
shoulder to shoulder with us. We greatly appreciate your trust and
constant assistance. The confidential alliance with the President of All
Presidents is and will remain the cornerstone of our raison d'etre, the
guarantee of the inviolability of the budgetary limits. Sarmalandia is
and will continue to be an enduring link of the Valor Pact, a reliable
member of the social community of nations...
The hand that rises against our reforms, we will chop off along with the stethoscope!
And
if that doesn't work, we'll pacify it with a sedative injection
administered with a blunt reusable syringe. So help us, God's Hypocrite,
for you seem to believe in him, Dear Friends of the Brother Offices of
the Bato Doctors! -
Wow, what is this time - waster? - shouted Minister Bartolomeo
Karriera-Nieuwierra suddenly at full throat. - Help!!! Who maliciously
planted this text on me???? Start the search immediately! Immediately!!!
Unfortunately, the unknown perpetrators scattered in all directions, as
is their custom. In addition, they ran off on one leg! And how do we find them now and punish them principled? -
Mrs. Wyborowa! Please come to my office immediately! You have joint
ownership of this mishap, honorable lady! Dismiss me and with your nose
to the ground track down the villains.
- Yes, sir - squealed Mrs. Wyborowa and ran off in all directions with dedication...
As
it soon turned out, Minister Bartolomeo Karierra-Nieuwierra's speech
opened up many fronts in the fight for a better tomorrow for the
Sarmaland patient. The combative atmosphere prevailing in the medical
sector brought to mind the Battle of the Great Mountain, the anniversary
of which was fast approaching. Numerous media decided to celebrate this
important event. Matilda was invited to a friendly TV station called TV
Revelation. The combative atmosphere did not go unnoticed by the users
of www.penicylium, who cheered Matilda into battle by shouting at her on
the forum. - Bang your fist on the table and see if the scissors will be heard! - cried the virtual, tireless warriors. -
Brothers and sisters in Asklepios, there are glass tops in the studio.
'I can't damage property, I'll cut myself and they won't invite me
again,' Matilda remarked self-consciously. -
Put on a wet T-shirt and don't let anyone get away with it, and
preferably get drowned in kisel and fight to the last batter! - shouted
one of the heated participants. -
Brothers and sisters at Asklepios, in the studio only serve drinks such
as water or coffee. They don't have gels. If I've drowned myself at
home in that gelato, by the time I get to the studio, it's all dried up
and nothing will come of it. - Shout as loud as you can! - advised participants in virtual protest rallies. -
Brothers and sisters in Asklepios, there are glass tops in the studio.
'I can't damage property, I'll cut myself and they won't invite me
again,' Matilda remarked knowingly. -
Put on a wet T-shirt and don't let anyone get away with it, and
preferably get drowned in kisel and fight to the last batter! - shouted
one of the heated participants. -
Brothers and sisters at Asklepios, in the studio only serve drinks such
as water or coffee. They don't have gels. If I've drowned myself at
home in that gelato, by the time I get to the studio, it's all dried up
and nothing will come of it. - Shout as loud as you can! - advised participants in virtual protest rallies. -
Brothers and sisters in Asklepios, the host of the TV show has good
hearing, and I don't feel the need to emit shrieks during the recording -
noted Matilda. -
Be like a volcano and erupt every once in a while, spewing forth clouds
of steam, lava, and ash - exhorted @clinical beetle at full throat. The
poor guy had stumbled into the forum after a full day of shivering
behind his Proforessa Dominessa. Not only was he shuffling along,
picking at his feet, but he also had to endure critical remarks about
his medical knowledge.
@Clinical Beetle
Every
once in a while, the Proforessa would pick up her shoe and position it
in the "completely trample him" position right over the head of the poor
@ClinicalBbeetle. She was about to trample him into a pancake and send
him to a yogurt wholesaler for milling to replenish the cochineal red
supply but made up her mind at the last minute. And where am I going to
find another poor boy? - she thought and pulled the shoe back.
Frustrated, all twitching and exasperated, he raised his eyes shyly, for
the first time that memorable day. He put out his feelers and wandered
them, tentatively, millimeter by millimeter, moving his gaze higher and
higher, bolder and bolder. No one protested. He caressed the sweet
dimples on the lateral side with his feelers and moved boldly to the
medial side. Once again, he boldly glared upwards. Still, no one
protested. At the very thought of what else he could do until the blood
boiled inside him and clotted intravascularly, as blood does when
boiled. The entire beetle homeostasis was in ruins in an instant.
Luckily for the subsequent course of events, a natural anticoagulant
cascade was set in motion in the jittery body of @Clinical Beetle. All
trans-membrane ionic transports sent hosts of molecules into battle,
activated proteins, and humoral substances. Circulation patency was
returning.
Ha,
if that's the case, we can continue exploring the area he thought and
began once again to run his legs and feelers. Still, no one protested.
God, does that mean I can go further? And further still? As far as... -
the heart of @Clinical Beetle was rumbling like crazy. A millimeter at
the top, two. The feelers were exploring. How about I explore the other
side like this? Hmm, too far there! I stick to the route once taken. The
feelers reached this rippling thicket and immersed themselves in an
endless delight. God, how many sweet variations to disguise with
tireless feelers! And all this is available to me? I can hash, slither,
climb, and plummet down from the summit in an endless immensity of
lose-it-all-ness.
Many Sarmalanders suffered from the lack of access to a doctor's stamp, and they formed the patient organization "Much of Us"
-
Help!!! Rip me apart! - he moaned, sinking utterly into the abyss of
pinkness. He was sinking, falling, sinking into nothingness without
end... After some time, his strength was exhausted, and he came to his
senses. He crawled out of the pink recesses of pleasure and, having
recovered a little, began to contemplate his future.
Inaugural lecture at the Faculty of Refundology
After
careful consideration, he decided that he would practice the parade
step with his feelers on the marshy ground. He wanted to grow into
a great Beetle, the Scarab of Egypt. - One, two, left! One, two, left!
The Beetle is crawling and singing a song - he intoned cheerfully. He
contemplated a renewed exploration of the pleasure grounds. How many
good things were there! And ripples, and hollows, and smells beyond
forgetting. And all this was within reach of his feelers, his feelers
Until now, never in his entire life had something so thrilling happened
to him. He did belong to the large family of Sarmaland Beetles, but all
signs of behavior indicated that he was of the subgroup of Deerflies
(Lucanidae), whose fate by definition is not interesting. Some
researchers suggested that it was perhaps of the subgroup Sprouting
(Apionidae), in other words, it was an ordinary sprout.
This
did not sound good! Although the considerations were supposedly
scientific, after all, he was a clinician that ho-ho, and maybe even
more, and he valued the scientific approach by definition, there was
some minimalist suggestion in these considerations. And on top of that,
Proforessa Dominessa still had him down as a Cucujiadae, while he felt
he was a proud descendant of the Beetles (Scarabeidae). Admittedly, he
had once scored an affair with a Ladybird Two-spot, but what an affair
that was in the face of the ocean of pleasure that engulfed him during
his recent trek to the peaks!
The day-to-day work of the medical staff at Proforessa Dominessa's ward
'
